Every day is a new day.
Duh. We all know this on an intellectual level, but do we actually live our lives this way?
The answer is probably not. We’re usually stuck somewhere between ruminating over our past and stressing about our future.
And a lot of times, both at once. Good times.
But, when we’re constantly reliving the past, we’re not living in the present moment. We’re not able to make the most of it. And then we realize we’re doing this, and panic even more about our future, because we realize we’ve now wasted even more time. We feel like we’ll never catch up. It’s quite a sticky situation to find yourself in.
So how do we break free?
By giving ourselves a fucking break. Stop punishing yourself for what you should have done. Obviously you learned from it, or you wouldn’t wish that you acted differently, right? It’s so important to do what you feel is right, even if it turns out to be something that causes you, or someone else pain, or changes your circumstances for the worse. That doesn’t make it “wrong” or “bad”. Things aren’t as cut and dried as they seem.
Most of us view life through the lens of right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, etc. We feel immense pressure to live a certain way and make “good” choices and be “right”, but I don’t see life as needing to be lived that way.
For me, personally, life is about experiencing experiences. The learning. The growing. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all a part of it, and it’s all fucking beautiful.
I’ve learned you can’t be afraid to make mistakes and you can’t be afraid of looking stupid to other people. Who fucking cares if you look stupid for going after what you want? At least you tried, right? It’s like that quote that says you miss 100% of the opportunities you don’t take. So, my reasoning is that at least if you try you have a 50/50 shot.
I always think, what’s the worst that can happen? If people think I’m foolish or stupid, so what? The world keeps turning, and they’ll fucking get over it. Some new drama will eventually come along to eclipse yours.
I’m so over beating myself up about every little thing I’ve done “wrong” and every mistake I’ve ever made. Who cares? I did it because I wanted to. Period. Maybe something good came out of it, or maybe I majorly fucked up my life and set myself back, but regardless, I gained wisdom either way.
I embrace my mistakes because they’re my greatest teachers. I consider myself wise, only because I’ve been so fucking stupid in the past. I’ve majorly fucked up almost every area of my life at some point, and then had to figure out how to make peace with that fact, and then act to fix it. All these experiences are important and beneficial to our growth. We only know something needs to be fixed if it feels broken or if we feel pain, or stress, or shame, or any “bad” emotions. Most of us try to run from these feelings because they don’t feel comfortable, but honestly, they’re just the indicators of a problem that needs to be addressed. Make them your friend, and figure out what they’re trying to tell you. Accept the emotion and situation. If you can fix the issue, fix it. If you can’t, forgive yourself and move on. Simple as that.
And just remember that as simple as this is, it’s also complicated, because humans complicate things. We beat ourselves up and set impossible standards and expect immediate results, but this won’t be a one-time thing. You’re probably not going to flip a switch and become some enlightened guru in one second. You might be living in the now for a couple days and then slide back into obsessing about the future or past, but just simply recognize it, and start again.
Let each moment be a new start. Take the chance to let the past rest and make this moment count. And if you waste it again? And then again? And then in five minutes again? Just reset each time. Don’t judge yourself. If you have to do it 100 times in one day, do it 100 times. Who the fuck cares? Do what you need to do. It takes time to cultivate new habits, and life moves in cycles and not one of us is perfect.
Remember, our future is dependent on the now, so embrace the fresh start each moment offers and make it a good one!