I don’t know about you, but sometimes my mind feels like a jumbled, chaotic mess.
I have millions of thoughts, and can never seem to organize them.
For example, I’ll be doing a visualization exercise, and my mind will be going in a million directions.
“Should I focus on money, or a house? What kind of house do I even want? I also want to lose weight and meet a guy. What kind of guy? He definitely needs to be tall and have a good job. But what about his personality?”
This can be problematic for conscious creators, because it makes it difficult to pin down and focus on exactly what you’re trying to manifest more of in your life.
How can you get what you want if you don’t really know what that is yet?
When it comes to asking the Universe for what you want, I’ve found it helps to do a little soul-searching beforehand, to figure out what you truly want more of in your life.
You may be thinking, “What are you talking about? I obviously want to be rich and married and live in a big house”, or something along those lines. You may feel as though you already know exactly what you want.
Others may not really know yet.
Perhaps, they’ve always felt like their luck could never change, resigned themselves to their miserable fate, and wouldn’t dare to hope, just to be disappointed again.
But, we’re all human beings and generally desire common things, even if we don’t believe we can have them; money, a relationship, friends, success, health etc.
And why not?
Money is fun to spend. Sex and love feel good. Friends you can laugh with truly enhance your life. And who doesn’t want to be successful?
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting any of these things.
When attempting to discern what you actually want, there are two approaches to consider.
- Put it on paper. Get out a pen, and make a general list of the categories in your life you’d like to see improvement in. Could be an orderly numbered list, or a free-form kind of thing, where you just scribble down whatever comes to mind.
- Get specific. For instance, if one of the things you listed was a relationship, think about what you truly want out of your dream relationship, and write it down. If you listed money, think about the amount you’d like to see in your bank account.
- Use past experience as a guide. For example, if it bothered you that your ex never listened to you, jot down “good listener”. If you feel like, in the past, you have only been able to earn enough to cover your expenses, make sure “extra spending money” makes the list.
- Read over your list frequently (especially before meditating or doing a visualization exercise). Doing this ensures that what you want is always in the forefront of your mind in an organized way, and you’ll be less likely to get confused when you’re trying to focus on it.
Below is a list I created about 6 months before I even met my current boyfriend. It’s funny to look back on, because it is literally a description of our relationship.
A lot of the things I put on this list were things I realized I was lacking from my past relationships, or things that I straight-up didn’t like.
Like Number 8, which is “touches me with tenderness”. I put this on the list because my ex used to grope at me like I was a piece of meat, and I didn’t even feel like a real person to him, just boobs and a vagina. He never played with my hair, or kissed me on the cheek, or rubbed my back. It was just constant groping and grabbing all the time. It seriously irritated the fuck out of me and I tried explaining this to him, countless times, to no avail. Ugh.
But flash-forward to my relationship now, and my boyfriend is always touching me in the sweetest ways. Ways that let me know how much he cares about me. He kisses me on the forehead, always holds my hand, plays with my hair and scratches my back. Exactly what I meant when I wrote this.
Sometimes the best way to jump-start the manifestation process is to basically let everything go, and aim for a general sense of happiness and well-being. Just focus on being happy and trust that the Universe will bring you whatever is best for you.
Think about it. Have you ever wanted something, gotten it, and realized it wasn’t a good fit after all? We don’t always know what’s best for us.
Or there could be something really great out there for us that we just haven’t thought of yet.
Wanting specific things can be limiting in a way, especially if we don’t yet believe we can ever have them.
We get fixated on certain desires or ideas that we’ve created in our minds that block the path for other, possibly greater things to come our way.
So if you’re having trouble pinning down exactly what it is you want, this is a great place to start, especially for people who have a lot of negative beliefs about themselves, or their life.
Like I mentioned above, some people have trouble discerning what they want because they just don’t believe they can ever be lucky in love, or not have to struggle with financial problems, etc.
Thats where this approach comes in.
It’s difficult to believe you can be a millionaire when you’re struggling to pay the rent each month. It’s hard to imagine finding the kind of person you’ve always dreamed about, when you haven’t been on a date in over a year.
But what if you simply tried to believe that you could be a happier person? That your life could have more peace and joy?
A lot easier, right?
Taking the time to figure out what you truly want is an important, and often overlooked, part of the manifestation process.
Don’t worry about which approach is the correct one for you to try. If one resonated with you, great. If they both sounded good, try both! If none really did, just grab a notebook and a pen and see what happens.
But, keep in mind, the list you make could end up being your future reality, just like mine was.
Thanks for reading!