When I was a teenager I got a job waiting tables, and had some trouble getting along with my boss.
That’s kind of an understatement, because it was pretty crazy. He had a temper, I had a temper, and let’s just say we weren’t afraid to use them.
You know that tornado/volcano line in “Love the Way You Lie?” It was basically like that, but in a work setting.
So, one random time we got in a fight and I quit or he fired me, I honestly don’t remember; it was a pretty common occurrence back then, so it’s hard to say.
I was dragging my feet about going back to work there, and I remember having a pretty dramatic phone conversation with my dad about it.
I can’t recall my exact words, but it went a little something like… “This is bullshit, I refuse to go back, as God as my witness, I’ll fucking starve to death before I let him talk shit to me again!” etc., etc.
It’s funny because I can’t remember what I said, but I can hear my dad’s Brooklyn accent, so clearly, like “Nahhh, don’t say that shit, get it out honey, but you gotta go back to work, everyone’s gotta take shit from the boss sometimes.”
And I was like “Dad, how am I going to work with him, I get SO angry, like my blood literally is boiling everyday! I’m gonna snap one day! How am I supposed to work like that???”
And I’ll never forget my dad’s reply. He said, “Just think of Nik.”
If you’re wondering who “Nik” is, she’s my niece, my dad’s granddaughter, who could very well be the most adored and fawned over child who’s ever lived.
Like, I know people are always biased about their own kids or families or whatever, but I’m telling you, this kid has charisma, and is so sweet and cool and funny and beautiful, and especially back then when she was two, we were all completely obsessed with her.
She was the belle of the ball in our family for sure.
I just remember that the second he said that, I got this warm, gooey feeling in my heart just thinking about her, which considering the state of anger I was in, was saying something.
It was such a simple and effective strategy to transmute negative energies into more positive ones, and, although I didn’t use that term back then, I recognized the significance and power of that small act.
It’s a strategy I continue to use, to this day, because even as a 16 year old, she still inspires those same ooey-gooey feelings in me, like no other (although when she was 9, I did have to replace her with my dog Leo for a little bit, because she went through this little diva stage, and was pretty insufferable 😂).
So, the moral of the story is to find who or what elicits those mushy-gushy feelings in you, and try to sink into that feeling as much as you can.
You can do this when you’re sad, when you’re angry, when you’re stressed, when you’re worried about bills, when you feel like a loser, whenever you’re in a less than desirable emotional state that you want to get out of.
And, if for whatever reason, you don’t currently have an actual person or pet’s love to draw on (and I honestly didn’t have one until I was 17, which is when she was born) maybe there’s characters in a show or movie that you’ve seen a bunch of times that make you feel happy, or even warm memories of someone who’s passed on.
Something I would draw on when I was in middle school and things were a little rough for me in the friend department, is that I would take comfort knowing I could throw on some Buffy after school. It would always make me feel better to know I could chill with Buffy, Willow, and Xander, no matter how lonely I felt (like I can’t even put into words what that show means to me, and at 33 I still watch it almost every day. I actually set up my I-Pad when I was cooking earlier; today was tacos and “Inca Mummy Girl” 😉).
It’s so easy to become a slave to our thoughts and feelings and allow them to have power over us. We can change the dynamic we have with our emotions, but we have to actively seek different ways in which to do this, and this is one of mine, or I guess my dad’s technically.
So, remember, when life gets you down, don’t do anything crazy or rash; just think of Nik! ♥️
Thank you so much for reading!